Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Simba and my Weird Dream
I woke up today with such a weird dream. And before I tell what was my dream about, lemme share first what I have been going through last night before I sleep and what could be possibly the relation of my dream to it.
At bed last night, while hubbee and I are catching up our sleep, I suddenly felt venting out. It started when I was taking a bath when I feel things are just becoming routinary for me. Nothing is new. It's the same old routine. And so I shared to him what level of stress there is at work nowadays and how I am being affected by it. I explained to him what my frustrations are at work and how stress is taking its toll on me.
That's one good thing when you have a partner who knows how to listen. He takes it away without any complain. And I appreciate it. Although his conclusion was...
"Mac, you're just so complicated".
"I know. That's why we're meant for each other. Because you're complicated too!". I replied. And we just laughed on it.
I also mentioned to him how I miss being with the company of good old friends and how they have gone, just like taken away by the wind. How I miss hanging out and hearing stories of friends. Things that happened in my life recently took me away from spending time with friends. And with my attitude towards distance in friendship can really fade the connection, I'm having a hard time dealing with it.
I also told him how I feel so tied up with so many things. And I have started thinking of crazy things like leaving, going somewhere, starting something, and so many things. It was crazy last night. I never felt so tied up and can't do anything about it. Until I was able to sleep then. And so this weird dream happened...
I was in our house in laguna, doing nothing, walking around the house until I got to our backyard and saw Simba, my childhood dog. I just passed by when I suddenly noticed that his food wasn't touched. I went back to our kitchen and saw that it was the latest food reserved for him. I went back and asked him why he hasn't eaten. My dad, who is usually out of the country ever since was there in my dream. He saw me talking to Simba.
Simba was not in the mood. Not even acting energetic. Then my cousin Lisa went out, saw us, took Simba's chain and put it in our Mango tree. Nothing has changed to his actions. He was the same "lantang gulay". I had a feeling that something's wrong. I had a feeling of something bad. I embraced him. Though he smells bad, and his saliva is all over his mouth, I hugged him tight. On his last stand, I kissed him. After that, he fell on the ground.
He was dead then.
I already had that feeling but I wasn't ready yet for that. But he died. Mom went out and I told her like a 5 year old boy that Simba is dead. And I just cried and cried. I felt it was real and I even remember that I kept on singing a song to Simba while mourning to his death. My mom, in her effort to comfort me said that I don't need to worry because dad gave her already P1,000.00. The P450.00 was for the cremation and the P550.00 was for buying a new dog. It was funny on that part.
I woke up with tears. I was really crying. It felt so real. But simba died so many years ago. I've been trying to figure out what my dream means. Until I realize what was the state of my mind before I went to sleep. Hopefully, my dream is telling me that what I'm feeling lately will die soon and I will be free and starting a new chapter in my life, something new that I have been looking for.
Hopefully, that's what it means...