Saturday, November 13, 2010
To make a relationship work, each of you must have a defined role. It is very important. In order to do that, both of you must identify each strength and weakness to make it more effective. Once you have identified what you can do good, and what you lack or not capable of doing, get in to an agreement and stay committed to what have been agreed upon.
In my relationship with hubbee, that arrangement worked. It made things easy for us. Less conflicts, less arguments, and the support system is very smooth. Love is stronger as the end result of it. We easily adjust to what we actually have identified as the weak points of each other, and we invest on our strengths. What's vital also is that you should be vocal in expressing your gratitude and appreciation of what he does best. It's a positive reinforcement that will nurture your precious relationship.
Don't steal some roles also. Respect the line and be supportive instead if he fails to do it. No one should be dominant in all aspects (I always remind myself on that). One must be the commander, and one must be the follower. And it switches depending on the given role. Even if you think it's not working, the support must be thrown at all times, and not by taking over the role. I guess that could be the reason why things are pretty much working for us.
And most importantly, be honest with your feedback so one can better improve it. You have the responsibility as well to tell it, and not pretend that everything is okay. Be vocal. It's for the sake of your relationship.
To give you an idea on how we have identified our roles in our relationship, see below our distribution of roles...
He cooks the food, I am the happy muncher.
I tickle him non-stop at bed, he takes all the laughter and the pain (haha).
I do the clutter, he cleans and arrange our pad (daily).
I drive, he is the passenger.
I do the hard work, he does the house work.
I am the giver of sweet tight cuddle, he is the enjoying recipient.
He eats one hash brown for breakfast, I eat two.
I am the hair stylist, he is the happy loyal customer.
I am the quality control, he is the master craftsman.
I get so many stress in life, he is the one who takes it all the way.
He is the boring, non-conversationalist type of guy, I am the opposite.
I have tons of sense of humor, he has tons of humor gas to use for laughing.
I use the dishes, he cleans the dishes.
I use more clothes than him, he washes all the clothes.
I am the master planner of our groceries, he is the master carrier of our grocery bags (haha).
It may sound unfair to you but that's how we are. I told you, I'm a spoiled brat. And that's my role. He is the spoiler (do we have that term?). I'm his big baby boy. I transform in to a one big giant baby when I get home. And he enjoys that. And what we have right now is what we enjoy so much. There's too much love inside our place and it feels good to be here.
With a clear and better understanding of roles, it's easier to make a relationship work. No lapses, no misses, everything is covered. And for me, communication is the key, matched with undying appreciation. It works. Believe me...
Happy Saturday Night!!!